Friday Frustration:Bestselling Books Of Obvious Advice

Not every Friday is a day for frustration, but I have to say what I feel about bestselling books full of obvious advice.

Do you know what I mean by obvious advice? Maybe you are at a party and casually mention that your muscles are sore from a workout. You’re only mentioning this to make conversation or to draw attention to your shapely muscles. Then up pops somebody who suggests that you take Advils and drink water and stretch. It’s the lactic acid build up that's causing the ache. Once you get rid of that lactic acid you’ll be fine.

You already know this. Everybody already knows this. That is because this is obvious advice. The obvious reaction to the obvious advice giver is to nod politely and to walk away.

So someone explain to me why the thing that makes you annoying at parties makes you published in the world of books? For example, the newly released The Art of Roughhousing is full of such important knowledge it took two people with advanced degrees to write it.

I’ll give you the gist: Studies show that playing with your kids is good for your kids.

No duh. My rubric for obvious advice is that if most barnyard animals already know it and practice its wisdom, then it might be obvious.

It seems the road to publishing is paved with obvious advice. Forget my five languishing unpublished novels and two heavily rejected teacher memoir book proposals. I’m going to write a big fat book full of obvious advice and I’ll probably sell a million copies in the first week. The title of my book of obvious advice will be No Duh.

Here are the chapters of No Duh. If you click on them, you will find a link to the actual published bestselling book that I have saved you the time having to read:

1. If You Avoid Junk Food And Exercise More, You Won’t Be So Fat

2. If You Clean Up Your House You Will Have A Clean House


3. If You Let Your Kids Do Whatever They Want, They Are Going To Be Obnoxious

4. Shut Up And Let Someone Else Talk. You’re Not The Only One with Feelings

5. Stop Complaining For Half A Minute And Focus On What You Want Out Of Life. You May Not Get What You Want Out Of Life But You Will Be Happier Than You Were When You Were Whining And A Hell Of A Lot Easier To Live With Besides

Actually, to save time I’m not going to write the chapters at all. The titles are enough on their own. That’s the beauty of my book. The hook, you might say. Readers can take the obvious advice and move on with their lives right away.

While I’m at it, I’ll add more:

6. Being a Bitch To Your Kids Will Make Them Hate You

7. It Takes A Lot of Practice To Get Good At Stuff

Last but not least (although one so important that they had to make a movie out of it with Drew Barrymore):

8. People Who Ignore You Are Not Your Boyfriend

I don’t know what it is about the reading public that makes us want to read obvious advice. Maybe we feel smart when we read studies that have just confirmed something we already know. I mean, I've read all of these books. A few of them I read more than once. That book on cleaning house was awesome.

Maybe the primal caveman inside of us all that likes to hear the same story over and over again around the campfire. It’s the same urge that compels me to watch an hour’s worth of Office reruns on the television every night. In an uncertain world, books of obvious advice don’t have any surprises and can be as comforting as an old story.

That’s cool I guess. I just want a piece of that action. Obviously.